I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
