If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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