i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
