Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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