Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
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I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
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Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.