my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.