I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
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Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
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You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.