All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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