Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
