we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
