i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
