why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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