i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
