Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
