What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
