the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Randomize
