So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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