We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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