Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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