sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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