the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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