I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
