But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
