i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
