Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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