No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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