I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
