:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
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It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
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I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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