it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
