I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
