Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
