Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Is it penis luge time yet?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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