Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
