I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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