I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
