she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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