Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
