Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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