Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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