I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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