I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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