i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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