just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
