used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
