I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
