Nicole vs. Life
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
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i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
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THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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