The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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