When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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