OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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