He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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