I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
