I don't think brook has ever known best
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
