she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
