i just wanna soil my oats bro
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Randomize
