her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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