I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
