i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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