needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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