So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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