What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
