normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
