Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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