All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
